OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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