EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
