maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
