I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
