I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
