I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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