she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
