i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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