What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Barsexuality is the new black.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
