Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
