my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize