Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
