The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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