Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think a kid would responsible me up
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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