Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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