I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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