I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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