He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I looked at my own cervix.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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