i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
