thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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