jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
