This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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