I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
