How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize