im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
