Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
