Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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