Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
