It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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