we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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