But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
