Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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