I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
