New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
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