I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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