are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
