I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Your cock deserves a montage
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
