I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
