I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
