Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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