Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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