I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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