Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
