my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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