you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
