I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
