More tranny stories later!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
