Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
