It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
