I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We need to rekindle our bromance
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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