Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
