I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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