i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize