I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
