I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
