It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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