Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
is that a dick in a sweater?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
