Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
