What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
