I want to make a zoo with you.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
