Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
