there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
