so explain again why im purple
no
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
