i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
