why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
