i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Well I just put wine in my tea
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
