so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize
